Priorities Have Changed...

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The biggest Pimp I know

Don’t look so surprised. I can’t be expected to keep up with the blistering pace at which Kenton updates. The man is a machine. Writing theses, showing dogs, updating blogs. My strict regimen of naps and snacking does not allow for such diligence.

So this weekend, Kevin Danny and I helped our good friend Nick move. Nick has spent the last year of his life living and working in Olympia. That’s bad enough, but compound that with the fact that the first six months were spent under his parent’s roof. Dios Mio!!! It’s amazing he was able to pull through.

Kevin and I drove down to O-town Saturday morning and met the other two at Nick’s old bachelor pad. The place was in disarray what with all the boxes and furniture stacked up, but I could tell by the stacks of spent computer components and spacious twin mattress, that this place must have been popular with the ladies. Oh, how we marveled as Nick regaled us with tales of his sexual escapades, all the while gathering the maps and manuals to his numerous online role-playing adventure games. I’d relate a few of the stories he told, but they were far too bawdy for publication on my blog. Also, for a period, I was distracted by all the “valuable” Star Wars memorabilia.

We drove his crap up to his new bachelor pad in beautiful Ballard. The new place is actually pretty nice, a large one-bedroom apartment down by the locks. New carpet, paint and lots of natural light. Now Nick is getting the place set up to host the next neighborhood party. He swears that there will be more single ladies than you can shake a stick at. Now, I’m a bit skeptical. I’m not exactly saying that he is full of it; if he can pull it off then more power to him. But, the life-size cardboard cutout of Captain Jean-Luc Picard guarding the living room with phaser set to stun ain’t going to help.

Don't even bother reading this

I want to post here, but I really have absolutely nothing to write about. Congratulations to Joel for getting engaged. That is good news. Kenton why you want to go to California? No one wants to live in California. Come back to Seattle, where every day is filled with gumdrop rainbows and enchanted unicorns brimming with happiness and love. And championship football teams. How about those Hawks? Really pisses me that not a single analyst will pick them to go to the Superbowl, regardless of the fact that they have the superior team. Screw them, odds-makers in Vegas have Seattle a 3.5 point favorite. I miss Vegas. Its only been like a month since I was there last, but I could really go for a complementary Sunday brunch buffet right about now. Something interesting better happen to me soon, or this is the kind of trash I will be posting everyday. I love this song.

We nerds sure can be funny...

I love these guys. This is a video of three Australians who call themselves Tripod. They are very funny. There is more of this stuff hidden somewhere in the internet, if you care to look for it. I'l give you a hint: try using Google.com. Maybe type in "Tripod music" or "Tripod Australia" or something. Here, let me, no just let me do it for you. HERE. Geez, you want something done right...

Activism

If you achieve only one thing in your time on Earth, help some poor kids or something. But if for some reason, you were limited to sitting in front of the television, you should definitely consider watching Arrested Development.

Farewell to Ballard

As those close to me can attest, I have spent every last waking moment for the last month fully devoted to moving. The apartment in Ballard, where Stacey and I have lived for two years, had to be emptied, painted, scrubbed and sterilized prior to turning over the keys. We have completed the walkthrough and no charges were levied against us, which is great because we had not put down a security deposit, therefore all fees would be directly withdrawn from our checking account. But had they tried, they would have found that the proverbial joke was on them, as there is no money in our checking account. Ha HA! In fact, there is not any money in any of our accounts. Suckers.

As we strolled through the apartment, one thing I noticed was the high-frequency of grimacey faces and looks of bewilderment on our property manager, Tara. Apparently, she was disgusted at the state of the carpet, drapes and flooring. And not because of damage we had caused, she explained, but rather because those items seemingly had not been replaced since the construction of the apartment. I asked when that was and she hesitantly answered, “1985.” I guess I can chalk all our mysterious skin rashes up to 20-year-old carpet related illness.

So now Stacey and I are the proud owners of a Mountlake Terrace Condominium. And now that all our crap is moved over there, you can get an idea of what it might look like by first referencing the picture below and then imagining cardboard boxes filing the entire frame. We’d invite you over, but the risk being crushed by a 3’x3’ box full of Cosmopolitan magazines is far too great.

Wanna see our new place?

So the decor is not what you might think of as traditional, but it sure is cozy. I love coming home after a long day at work, sitting on the stepstool and admiring the plywood underside of the poker table top.

Remind me to tell you about the monster living below us when I have more time to type.

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I don't feel like working right now.

So in order to satiate Kenton’s ferocious appetite for gossip….er um , I mean news, about his Seattleite friends, its update time!

First up, Stacey and I will be moving in the next month. We have purchased ourselves a condo in the fair city of Mountlake Terrace. Although I can remember a time when we both were in agreement that we would never live in a condo, I guess we changed our minds. We close on our three bedroom/two bath/one giant-ass mortgage payment home at the end of this month. It has a pool though. Come visit and well let you swim in it.

A side note: Since we have to transform our apartment back into what it was when we first moved in, there is much work to be done. If you plan on visiting in the next couple months, say for instance from New Mexico, please bring your painting clothes and a moving truck.

It looks like there is a possibility that I might be headed back to my former place of employment. Some of their staff resigned leaving some room for me. I am pretty excited about the prospect as it would come with a promotion and a raise. Since the only I work is to make money, making more of it is right up my alley.

In answer to your speculation Kenton, the baby has not yet been born. I believe the due date for Katie’s little girl is October 13. What’s taking so long? Apparently, it typically takes nine months. Who knew?

Since Kevin has given up on blogging I guess I could give an update on him. He is doing well since the surgery and wanted to say thanks for all the get well cards and flowers. The recovery is going smoothly but he says the hormone therapy makes his nipples sore and that he still kinda misses “Mr. Winky.” We’re pulling for you girlfriend.

Baby/Poker Night

We had some friends over last night. Jenny, Katie, Jon, Kevin, Kim, the usual crew. We had originally intended to watch a movie but, due to the fact that not one of my friends likes to make an actual decision, we ended up sitting around for most of the evening.

Katie and Jon are expecting a baby in October. I am hoping enough people know now that it is appropriate for me to mention here. This is the closest friend I have had get pregnant. It’s pretty crazy to think that someone who I am friends with is going to be a parent. They found out that they are having a girl. This revelation, complete with the requisite oooooh’s and squeals, was followed by a session of “What Should We Name the Baby?” Now, I like babies, I mean babies are just great, but there is little else as unsatisfying as a discussion about what to call someone else’s child. I mean, it’s not like the parents are really taking their friends’ advice to heart.

Stacey: “Oooooh Katie, you should call your baby Julia. I have always liked that name.”

Kim: “Yeah”

Katie (nodding): “OK, I will.”

So then, after we collectively decided on the baby Julia's first outfit, five of us jumped into a little No-Limit Texas Hold-em match. As per usual, Kevin and I were promptly unseated from the game. You would think that after game after game of being ousted by my friends, I would begin to doubt my own poker playing prowess. However, I have concluded that a more fitting scenario is that I play poker at such a high level that the only way I can really be beaten, is by the kind of silly, amateurish luck-of-the-draw brand played by my friends. Seems more likely to me.