A Story for the Grandkids
I was not sure if the wang-milk story was appropriate for my blog, but Kenton, the King of Inappropriate, brought it up (see yesterday’s comments). Kevin and I discussed this over dinner on Sunday. What a memory.
One time, way back in college, I lived with a uniquely verbose guy by the name of Andy Morton. Mr. Morton found himself in a very interesting predicament one evening at the house. That night Andy had dined at the Wing Dome on a plate of 5-alarm wings. For thos of you not familiar with the Dome, their scale is from 1 to 7. 1 is not spicy at all, while 7 is so hot that they sell one for $2. So 5 is considerably hot.
After enjoying his wings, and this part of the story I am not too sure about, Andy’s hands made contact with his wang. I can only assume that it was during a trip to the bathroom, but you never know with Andy. I personally would have washed my hands before any wang-touching but that’s just me. This contact resulted in a situation that caused Mr. Morton quite a bit of discomfort. This is where it gets good.
Recalling some wives tale, you know, the one about hot sauce on the penis, Andy runs to the kitchen and fills a bowl with 2% milk. He runs back up stairs with the bowl and proceeds to dip his flaming member into the soothing chilled milk. Andy says that it worked and highly recommends the procedure to anyone with a 5-alarm unit. But wait, that is not even the best part.
Andy, perhaps numbed with relief, “forgets” the bowl in the bathroom and goes about his business. For several days, the bowl sat on the counter in the bathroom, a holy-grail to the spicy shlong, if you will. No one else is going to touch the thing. That’s just disgusting. Looking back I wonder if it was as disgusting as the rancid odor that soon began to spew forth from that bathroom.
And the questions:
A: Who is Sir Thomas Gresham?
B: What is the Nikkei? (Kenton you spelled wrong, but if you were on the show you would have gotten it right as you pronounced it correctly.)
One time, way back in college, I lived with a uniquely verbose guy by the name of Andy Morton. Mr. Morton found himself in a very interesting predicament one evening at the house. That night Andy had dined at the Wing Dome on a plate of 5-alarm wings. For thos of you not familiar with the Dome, their scale is from 1 to 7. 1 is not spicy at all, while 7 is so hot that they sell one for $2. So 5 is considerably hot.
After enjoying his wings, and this part of the story I am not too sure about, Andy’s hands made contact with his wang. I can only assume that it was during a trip to the bathroom, but you never know with Andy. I personally would have washed my hands before any wang-touching but that’s just me. This contact resulted in a situation that caused Mr. Morton quite a bit of discomfort. This is where it gets good.
Recalling some wives tale, you know, the one about hot sauce on the penis, Andy runs to the kitchen and fills a bowl with 2% milk. He runs back up stairs with the bowl and proceeds to dip his flaming member into the soothing chilled milk. Andy says that it worked and highly recommends the procedure to anyone with a 5-alarm unit. But wait, that is not even the best part.
Andy, perhaps numbed with relief, “forgets” the bowl in the bathroom and goes about his business. For several days, the bowl sat on the counter in the bathroom, a holy-grail to the spicy shlong, if you will. No one else is going to touch the thing. That’s just disgusting. Looking back I wonder if it was as disgusting as the rancid odor that soon began to spew forth from that bathroom.
And the questions:
A: Who is Sir Thomas Gresham?
B: What is the Nikkei? (Kenton you spelled wrong, but if you were on the show you would have gotten it right as you pronounced it correctly.)
posted by Ethan at 11:51 AM
1 Comments:
Ethan,
You have the ability to tell a story like no one other. Every journal entry is a delight to read, and I can't help but bust out laughing sometimes. This story takes the cake...I had to tell it to one of my lab mates. In fact, I read it to her. We were both in stiches....
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